Am I not Good Enough?
by rantakufan
Summary: Shindou is feeling pretty down with Okatsu out of his life completely. Kirino goes to comfort him at the cost of feeling his heart-brokenness multiplied; he loves him with all his heart but he just can't handle spending time with him if all he can talk about it Okatsu. Shindou loves Kirino too, but none of them will admit their love for each other so there is much misunderstanding.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, well this isn't really a story… just something I wrote randomly…

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inazuma Eleven/Go or any of the characters**

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"Okatsu…" Shindou mumbled, through tears, "Why?" Shindou's head was drooping forward in his hands as he sat on his couch in his castle-like house.

"You've got to stop thinking about her, Shindou!" said Kirino, "You'll never see her again…"

"She… she was so nice to me…" Shindou hid his face from view.

Kirino sighed as he looked at Shindou with gentle eyes, trying to hide the pain he was feeling.

"Shindou… you really do love her… don't you… ?" Kirino asked, trying to choke back the tears, threatening to fall. He was answered with a small, but barely noticeable nod.

"Okay…" Kirino said to confirm that he had understood Shindou's answer.

_Am I not enough for him?! Why does he like her more?_

Kirino sighed.

_What am I saying? … he likes me but he LOVES her… friendship has no competition with love…_

Kirino abruptly stood up, planning to leave before Shindou could see him cry.

"Kirino," asked Shindou, "where are you going?" Shindou sat up, his tear-filled eyes now in view.

Kirino stood still, next to the couch, his hair now covering his face, unable to answer.

_If I answer, he'll know that I'm crying…_

Kirino decided to keep quiet and leave. His abrupt actions shocked Shindou.

"Kirino!" called Shindou, "wh-where are you going?!"

Kirino ignored Shindou's words and opened the door to leave.

"R-Ranmaru!" Shindou called, slightly uneasy.

Kirino froze, surprised at the sudden, unexpected usage of his name.

"Shindou?" Kirino questioned as he turned to look him in the eyes.

Shindou's face flushed red at the thought of what he had just done.

"Um… wait, don't go… Please stay!" Shindou begged, "I… I want you to stay here…"

Kirino waited a few seconds before replying.

"Sh-Shindou, I c-can't… I-I'm sorry! I just can't!" Kirino screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He turned and ran out the door, desperately trying to get away from Shindou… the boy who had so much power over him… who could affect him THIS much… who could hurt him this much…

Kirino went home and didn't leave his bedroom for the rest of that day. He stayed in his bed, crying over Shindou and his supposed "Lover"

_Why does he LOVE her? How does this girl have so much power over him?_

Kirino buried his face deeper into his pillow.

"Shindou!" he cried "W-Why did I have to ever meet you?!"

Kirino cried harder.

"If I'd never met you, this would've never happen! I wouldn't be experiencing this pain… This never-ending, piercing, sharp, unbearable pain…

* * *

Meanwhile, Shindou was still crying on the large couch in his mansion-like house, but for a different reason… for his best friend…

"Kirino… please come back! Don't leave me! I want you… I need you… Please come back! I don't want you to leave me by myself!"

Shindou's state was far worse than Kirino's. He was sobbing, screaming words to Kirino, who of course couldn't hear him. He continued pulling his hair in his broken-down state for a few more hours before falling asleep out of exhaustion. He felt miserable. He missed his kind friend, Okatsu, but he missed his BEST friend far more. He felt abandoned by Kirino, who would normally stay next to him and comfort him until he felt better.

"Why are you treating me like THIS? What did I do to deserve this?" Shindou screamed.

One of Shindou's maids had been standing outside his door, listening to him. "Master?" she called, "A-Are you okay, young master?"

Shindou instantly pulled a straight face and answered.

"Ah… I-I'm fine…"

He turned away from the maid and with one wave of his hand, he said, "You may leave now, and don't disturb me any further…"

The maid apologized before quickly scurrying down the large hallway.

Shindou sat back on the couch, distressed.

* * *

Kirino, still in his room, had finally fallen asleep. It took him hours but he had finally cried himself to sleep.

Neither of them knew that the other had also been crying over them.

It seems like such a simple problem to solve, doesn't it?

But not to them…

They're both too embarrassed and full of doubt to admit that they like each other.

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Anyone think this is worth making into a story or continuing?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you guys so much for the reviews!

Here's chapter two.

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Shindou woke up pretty late in that next day. He looked terrible. Exhaustion was clearly on his face and in every movement he made.

He normally wouldn't sleep in but what the heck! He was energy drained, even after sleeping so long.  
He felt like a mess. Well, at least he didn't need to show up at school. Thank goodness it was Saturday.

"Uuuuuuuggghhh!"

Shindou flipped over on his bed and fell onto the floor.

"Oww…"

_Well at least that got me out of bed…_

Shindou carried himself lazily into the bathroom and through his morning routine to get ready for the day.

He stumbled down the stair and hurried to eat breakfast before his parents saw how he looked.

_If they see how terrible I look they might blame Kirino and he'll never be able to come here again!_

Shindou choked his breakfast down and hurried back up the stairs.

He sat on his bed a while.

_I don't wanna do any extra lessons or homework today…_

He stood up and walked over to his piano.

_I'll do this… but only this…_

He sat down but something felt different… He shrugged it off and started with warm up drills. His fingers flew back and forth and up and down the back and white keys. His fingers knew them so well. He never missed a spot. His touch, although it was light, never missed a key.

When he had finished, he went right into practicing from the new piano book his mother bought for him.

_This is too easy… not challenging enough…_

He decided to work on the piece he was writing. He pulled the paper out of his folder and grabbed a pencil. Shindou took in a deep breath and let his imagination run… but he couldn't concentrate. His thoughts kept finding Kirino. He couldn't think of anything but Kirino. He felt a jab of pain in his heart.

_Aaagh, Kirino! Why do you affect me so much! Why can't I just NOT think about you and NOT care for just a little while... I still can't forget you, even though you left me yesterday when I needed you…_

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Kirino woke up really dreary and feeling so lethargic. He made a child sound of discontent.

"Mmm, Shindou… why are you the first thing I think of in the morning…?"

Kirino sat up in his bed and just sat there...

_I think… I think I dreamed of Shindou last night…_

He tried to recall what he had dreamed of but he only glimpses and flashes. Only glimpses and flashes of him and Shindou. Him and Shindou walking together… holding hands… hugging… kissing…

_Wait WHAT?_

Kirino shook his head.

"N-Noo… that's weird…"

He stood and walked into the bathroom to ready himself.

By the time he was all dressed and ready it was already noon but Kirino still wanted to sleep.

_No. if I go to sleep I'll have more perverted dreams of Shindou!_

He felt his face heat up.

"Mmmmm, I like Shindou"

He giggled in a fangirl-like fashion and jumped onto his bed and hid his face in his pillow. He lay like that for only a few seconds, smiling at his thoughts of Shindou.

_Ahh, I feel so weird…_

He stood up and took in a few deep breaths and walked downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast/lunch.

_I shouldn't be doing that… It's weird and he's my best friend! Besides… he already likes someone and he probably isn't gay either…_

Kirino sighed and walked to the fridge to find something to eat, trying to ignore the sharp pain that came with thinking about Shindou and Okatsu.

_Shindou… why are you the only thing I can think about... You don't even like me and I know that for sure because you already like Okatsu… why can't I get you off my mind… it hurts so much to think about you… and yet I can't stop…_

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Ahh, these types of stories make me think that these people are so stupid…

Anyway, what do you guys think?

Please leave a review!

Do you guys think the chapters are too short?


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